Emotional

dHi, I’ve chosen to stay anonymous for this article due to it containing some very deeply personal things. Some people are going to read this and instantly know who I am, in which case feel free to talk to me about it, but please keep it to yourselves. Also, consider this a trigger warning for a lot of shit. Drowning, child abuse, suicide, etc.

 

This article is my story and the story of Nova surrounding it. Now, I’m mostly going to stick to the things I love about Nova for this, for however many things I might dislike, or even hate about Nova, I do love this school, what it stands for and what it’s done for me.

 

About two years ago, I was sitting in the bathroom at Nova, sobbing. I had just downed a bottle of zoloft, and was intermittently drinking from a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. Ten minutes beforehand, I had been pretty much fine. Nothing happened in between, no arguments, no devastating news, not even a mildly annoying event. All of a sudden my depression just welled up, unbelievably, incredibly strong, and I made the decision to take my own life.

 

Now as chance would have it, hydrogen peroxide makes you throw up, which potentially saved my life, because 2.5 grams of zoloft is enough to potentially kill you and I took 2.7. This was not something I knew before drinking it, but out of twenty-some toxic chemicals I could have grabbed, I grabbed that one. So I guess that’s a reason to believe in fate, even if I don’t.

 

This was right at the beginning of the new semester, which made me miss the first week of school. I was still able to get into most of my classes and not fall behind due to having a really understanding coordinator, and a system built to help people like me. I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity.

 

Now, there are things that I don’t like about Nova, mainly that it’s a little bit cult like, IE any views that oppose the hive mind will get you socially ostracized, and this is coming from someone who agrees with the majority of views expressed in Nova. There’s also another incident that I’m not at liberty to talk about, but that I personally believe would have ended very differently had the genders been swapped. However many of these problems exist in a lot of public high schools, without the massively good qualities of Nova.

 

A little less than a year ago my dad ran into the living room screaming “Call 911, Call 911”. He was holding my now not breathing little brother. The single most important person in my life, now just a step or two off from a coma.I stopped going to most of my classes for two months and spent every day in the hospital. With the help of my coordinator I was able to still maintain credit and enrollment, by doing work by myself. I firmly believe that if I was in a different high school I would have dropped out. Without Nova, without the people who Nova has connected me with, I’d probably be addicted to heroin. Without Nova my life would probably be a ruin of what it is right now.

 

The Nova community, while problematic at times, is nothing short of wonderful. The people I’ve met here have been some of the kindest, most beautiful, generous, brave and caring people that I’ve met in my life. My friends, my partner and my teachers. The nova community is fantastic.

 

This place and the people inside it have helped me to a degree that I can’t express in words. When I was broken they accepted that, they gave me the time and the resources to start putting myself back together. They helped me study at home, to keep earning credit and to stay on track. In a different school I’d be a high school drop out twice over.

 

I’m doing a lot better nowadays, in large part due to Nova, and more specifically the people Nova has connected me with. After two years of searching I’m finally on some medication that works for me. I’m working on my relationship and my friendships, and I’ve been trying to put more time into my passion and making what I want happen. That’s not to say that I’m all happy go lucky now, I’m still depressed a lot, I still have a lot of shit, but things do seem to be improving, just painfully slowly.

 

Nova has been an invaluable resource to me. Through trauma, depression, grief, suicide attempts, abuse. Through all the horrifying shit I endured, for all the horrifying shit my friends have endured, Nova offered a place where people could finally feel safe and comfortable in their own bodies, sexualities and genders

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