What does a theater geek do when she’s run out of local shows to review (or time to see said shows)? Well, she digs up old shows, remembering how great each one of them is, and writes about them instead. Now I’m going to give you my suggested Ultimate Showtunes Playlist, or at least, as close to “ultimate” as I can get in 20 songs. (A lot of the best showtunes ever were left off this list, purely for the sake of keeping the length sane.) I’ve compiled this list trying to draw from all the styles and stories that have been on Broadway in the last fifty years or so, and included many of my personal favorites. (Plus I’ve included some samples of each song for you – 30 second clips that I think showcase the music much better than iTunes or Amazon previews.)

So, let’s get right to it, shall we? Here is my Ultimate Showtunes Playlist, listed in order of release.

1. “You Can’t Get a Man With a Gun” from Annie Get Your Gun (1946) – this song is a favorite of mine because it turns the classic heartbreak moment in a romance story into a comedy song. As the at least partially true story goes, Annie Oakley, female sharpshooter, is turned down by Frank Butler, who claims he only wants to marry a feminine woman – “a doll he can carry,” he explains in an even more recognizable song, “The Girl That I Marry.” When Frank Butler exits the stage, one might expect the forlorn Annie to launch into a ballad lamenting her unreturned feelings – and one would be pleasantly surprised with something completely different. Instead, she begins to belt the gutsy and lovable classic, “You Can’t Get a Man With a Gun,” complaining that being the best shot in the country doesn’t really mean squat when you’re trying to find a man. I’m not sure how far back this song and I go, since I first saw this show at age five, but I’ve always loved it. The role of Annie Oakley was created by Ethel Merman (only 20 years after the death of the actual Ms. Oakley), but my personal preference is for the revival recording, featuring Bernadette Peters, who presents the song with her crystal clear voice and adds her signature humor to her delivery of the lyrics.

Clip: You Can’t Get a Man With a Gun – Bernadette Peters

2. “Hello, Young Lovers” from The King and I (1951) – Rodgers and Hammerstein are the heroes of any modern musical fan. Or at least, I’d hope they are. I’ve gotten into arguments with my theater pals, on the topic of Rodgers and Hammerstein vs. Sondheim, but I won’t get into that. This is my editorial, and I say they’re heroes. So there (cue stomping of foot on ground like small child). I love most of their works, but have a definite soft spot for the tender love story in disguise, The King and I. “Hello, Young Lovers” is one of the most memorable songs from The King and I, but in fairness, most of the songs are pretty memorable. However, this has always been one of my favorites. It is the advice of a widowed woman, Anna, to a young couple going through that whole forbidden love plot that audiences find oh-so-sexy. Anna tells the couple to cherish each moment, and not to hold back, while at the same time reminiscing of her late husband and lover, Tom. And the melody is just downright catchy, which is why it was instantly my favorite song from the show when I heard it. The clip is of Julie Andrews as Anna singing this song for a film version of the show, and for the record, there is no one but Julie Andrews who plays Anna perfectly. No one.

Clip: Hello, Young Lovers – Julie Andrews

3. “In My Own Little Corner” from Cinderella (1957) – this song was technically not from a Broadway show (ah, technicalities). In the late 1950s, Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II wrote an original score to accompany the classic fairytale, Cinderella. The music was used in a made-for-TV movie starring a young Julie Andrews as Cinderella, rather than a stage musical – it was the only work of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s that was made for anything other than the stage. The score is filled with instant classics (that, in my opinion, far surpass the syrupy songs in the Disney cartoon of the fairytale), such as “A Lovely Night” or the instrumental “Cinderella’s Waltz.” But the public favorite seems to be “In My Own Little Corner,” a song still performed frequently today. It’s just a quiet, slow song that takes place in Cinderella’s “happy place,” her little chair in the little corner by the fireplace. Mostly, she sings about freedom she experiences in this safe spot, where “she can be whatever she wants to be.” It displays a stunning amount of optimism if you ask me, since this woman’s life pretty much sucks, and yet she still sees the positive in this one place that she finds peace. I attached a clip from the 1997 movie version of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella, produced by Disney (yes, Disney made a live action version of Cinderella – most people overlook it). That remake starred Brandy, with her gorgeously rich yet breathy soprano voice, as Cinderella.

Clip: In My Own Little Corner – Brandy

4. “Don’t Tell Mama” from Cabaret (1966) – for anyone unfamiliar with Kander and Ebb’s Cabaret, the whole show takes place in a cabaret-style German nightclub. One of the main characters is Sally, the headlining singer/dancer at the Kit-Kat Club. “Don’t Tell Mama” is Sally’s introduction song, or, by some definitions, her character song (the first song someone sings, usually giving background and insight into the character). In it, Sally pleads with all watching to keep her profession a secret from her mother (who apparently still believes Sally is touring Europe with her friends). It’s just a funny song, and since it’s from a classic show, I thought I’d include it. The original cast recording, featuring Jill Haworth as Sally Bowles, is below.

Clip: Don’t Tell Mama – Jill Haworth

5. “Music and the Mirror” from A Chorus Line (1975) – if there was ever a diva’s song, this is it. A Chorus Line is the pure definition of an ensemble show, and depending on how you look at it, there are either no main characters, or all seventeen cast members are main characters. And yet the pure diva energy radiating from one character in particular, Cassie, is so strong that attention always tends to be drawn to her. A Chorus Line tells the backstage story of every musical on Broadway, as it depicts seventeen young hopefuls auditioning to be in the chorus of a Broadway musical. Each sings of what got them to where they are, and of the emotional turmoil associated with being a working singer and dancer on Broadway. Cassie is a dancer desperate for work, and when she sings about her dedication to her craft in “Music and the Mirror,” it’s just unbelievable. Donna McKechnie, the original Cassie, was an utter unknown at the time, but as far as I’m concerned, no one has ever come close to matching her vocal performance in this role, and she doesn’t just play Cassie, she is Cassie. So naturally, the sample is of her on the original cast recording.

Clip: Music and the Mirror – Donna McKechnie

6. “Any Dream Will Do (Reprise)” from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (1982) – add to the list of composers I can’t possibly leave off this playlist, Andrew Lloyd Webber. Whether you love or hate Webber, his musicals are about as iconic as it gets. Phantom of the Opera and Cats alone defined nearly a decade of musical theater style. And while I haven’t had the chance to watch all the dozen or so musicals he’s composed, my favorite so far is one of his “oldies but goodies” – Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Or, as I prefer to call it, Joseph and the Ridiculously Long Show Title – or I just abbreviate it as Joseph. This show, based on the Bible story of Joseph and his dreams was technically my first opera – there is no dialogue in it; the two and a half hour show is all song. (By the end, my parents couldn’t believe me and my 6 to 8 year old siblings had sat through the whole thing.) Because of the nature of the show, most songs do not stand well alone, and therefore the only song that is usually performed outside of the original musical is Joseph’s solo “Any Dream Will Do.” The whole shtick with Joseph is that he can interpret dreams and predict the future from it. I actually laugh when I remember that it’s a Bible story, because to me it sounds more like the stories of some nutcase who believes himself to be psychic. Nevertheless, I do love this song, as he sings about his dreams along with a chorus of adorable children (who sit on the stage as a “audience” during the show, and whose purpose is not quite clear). I use the reprise version here because I think the music is more catchy, since it’s a finale song, and I just find it to be more pleasing to the ear than the first number, which is also very good. And for the record, the criteria I used for picking this clip out of the zillion cast recordings for this show is that this is the CD I have in my basement.

Clip: Any Dream Will Do (Reprise) – 1993 Broadway Revival Cast

7. “Castle on a Cloud” from Les Misérables (1985) – Les Misérables is a landmark show. Since first being performed in French in Paris in 1980, the show has been played in 38 different countries in dozens of major productions, and countless more smaller performances. Instantly recognizable are the soft, opening strains of piano in “I Dreamed a Dream,” or the charcoal sketch of a sad-looking girl in torn rags that is the Les Misérables logo. “Castle on a Cloud” is a song that can get overlooked in such an overwhelming show; with over 30 musical numbers, it’s hard to remember that soft ballad in the middle of act one that runs barely over a minute and a half. And yet I find it to be one of the most beautiful, emotional songs. The song is performed by a young actress, usually 8 or 9 years old, as the child version of the main character Cosette (the little girl in the logo). Cosette speaks of her fantasies, of a castle on a cloud she visits in her dreams, where she no longer has to work as an abused servant, and where she finds a mother figure to replace her real mother, who dies at the beginning of the show. It’s short but incredibly sweet and sung in a beautiful high octave. The clip below is of Donna Vivino (who, incidentally, has grown up into a beautiful vocalist that stunned half of Seattle with her performance in Wicked at the Paramount last September), from the original Broadway cast recording.

Clip: Castle on a Cloud – Donna Vivino

8. “I Know Him So Well” from Chess (1986) – obviously, I couldn’t include a song from Mamma Mia! on this list. (Face it, no matter how good the show is, “Dancing Queen” isn’t a showtune by any definition.) But fortunately, I managed to still use music composed by the very talented team of Andersson and Ulvaeus on my list, by picking a song from the West End flop musical, Chess. Chess as a show was an overall failure, because the story doesn’t stand up well, and by the second act, things start to fall apart. Well, wait, that’s a lie. I don’t know that for sure. I couldn’t bear to watch any more than the first ten minutes of act two, and after that, I was bashing my head against a wall – so hopefully you get what I mean about the show. However, the show is a favorite for concert-style engagements (when the show is performed usually just once or twice, with minimal staging and sets), because despite the weak plot, the music is very memorable and can almost compensate.”I Know Him So Well” is a great female duet, and has a lot of musical subtleties that remind a lot of ABBA’s music, so it’s a good example of how distinctive the composers can be. The song also has a great setup – two women are singing about the man they both love, one his wife, and one his mistress. It’s almost tragically funny how at the same point in this song, they both decide that giving up and letting the other woman have him is best for everyone. The clip is from a concert version of Chess that was performed in the West End in 2008 (it was only a two-show engagement, but the show was taped and broadcast on PBS), featuring Kerry Ellis and Idina Menzel, two very talented women whose voices I adore.

Clip: I Know Him So Well – Idina Menzel and Kerry Ellis

9. “Children Will Listen” from Into the Woods (1987) – truth be told, I don’t like Stephen Sondheim. And now I’ll pause and wait for you all to stop throwing tomatoes at me. We done? Okay, good. My opinions aside, I knew I simply could not compile a sampling of contemporary musical theater without including Sondheim. So here it is, my favorite song from the only Sondheim show I really like, Into the Woods. This song is the show’s finale song and was originally performed by Bernadette Peters. The song is now a classic and standard soprano ballad. As the lyrics state, “Careful the things you say, children will listen. Careful the things you do, children will see.” Bernadette Peters has a gorgeous, lilting soprano voice that I can’t possibly describe, and the lyrics are too deep for me to sit here and try to pick through. Listen to the sample. Seriously.

Clip: Children Will Listen – Bernadette Peters and Cast

10. “If I Can’t Love Her” from Beauty and the Beast (1994) – I tried to stray away from the adapted Disney movie musicals, since a lot of the songs from the movies are so mainstream by now, that I wouldn’t quite consider them “showtunes,” and Beauty and the Beast is a perfect case in point. But some of the songs that were written for the Broadway versions of the Disney stories are too amazing to overlook. And this act one closer is just so powerful, and heartbreaking, that I couldn’t leave it off. In a play that revolves around a romance, a dramatic break up or rejection song at the end of act one is pretty common, although I think the situation in Beauty and the Beast, and especially this song, is plenty unusual. I love this song because it’s one of the first times the Beast shows true emotion, and it is delivered in such a raw form. I’m sure that as high school students, most of you are far too mature for cartoons and have not watched Beauty and the Beast in years…right? *coughs* Uhm, yeah, so anyway – “If I Can’t Love Her” is sung right after Belle flees from the Beast’s castle. Despite his somewhat animalistic behavior, an audience gets the sense that Beast is trying desperately to fall in love with Belle – and more importantly, get her to see him in a different light, and love him in return, since this is the only way he’ll ever be a human again. And I do believe that when the maiden you’re trying to romance runs away from you, that’s a pretty strong sign that things aren’t going well. And all I have to say about the attached clip is, if you’ve never heard Terrence Mann sing, you have no idea how much you’re missing in life.

Clip: If I Can’t Love Her – Terrence Mann

11. “Seasons of Love” from Rent (1996) – Rent is one of the few shows whose scores I love so much that they’re on this list twice. And I tried to make myself cut this from the list, but I couldn’t. “Seasons of Love” is a practically universal song. Children sing it at events to make people feel warm and fuzzy, Girl Scouts sing it at summer camp around the fire, and it’s safe to say that most people of my generation have at least heard the song, even if they don’t know it’s from a Broadway show. All one needs to hear to recognize this gospel-style number are the simple but perfectly arranged piano chords that open the song, and the phrase, “525,600 minutes.” As I said before, it really is just a warm and fuzzy, feelgood song. The message is cliched, but important. Rent was, in a way, composer Jonathon Larson’s final message to the world, but I feel that this song in particular is Jonathon’s last gift to us.

Clip: Seasons of Love – Original Broadway cast

12. “Take Me or Leave Me” from Rent (1996) – this song is a beautiful example of the quirky style of rock music that makes up Rent. I felt I had to include an angry song if I put “Seasons of Love” on the list, because Rent is one of those works of art that is driven mainly by frustration, and much of the music carries that heavy, rock theme. I am a self-professed “Renthead” (yes, that is what us Rent geeks call ourselves), and would be hard-pressed to pick a favorite song from this music-packed operetta, but according to my iTunes top 25, my favorite is “Take Me or Leave Me.” There are many couples in Rent, most of them at least slightly dysfunctional, and the on-and-off relationship of characters Maureen and Joanne is perhaps the worst of all. During the course of the show, they break up about four times. (Possibly more. Truth be told, I’ve lost count.) This is probably because Maureen possesses several, shall we say, undesirable traits. (And yet she’s my favorite character…hmm.) During one of their arguments, Maureen presents an ultimatum to her angry girlfriend – take her as she is, or leave her. When Joanne tells Maureen the exact same thing, it turns into a powerful, frustrated song that is made of pure awesome. I chose to use the movie version of the song for the clip, because I think the music was better produced and sounds fuller than on the Broadway cast recording. It features Idina Menzel, the original Maureen, and Tracie Thoms as Joanne.

Clip: Take Me or Leave Me – Idina Menzel and Tracie Thoms

13. “My Strongest Suit” from Aida (2000) – I mentioned this song in my theater column once before, in my review of the rock opera Aida. And now I’m mentioning it again, because it is without a doubt, my favorite song from this show. The first time I heard it, I freaked out and immediately bought the entire cast album on iTunes. It’s long but absolutely worth listening to the whole thing. Full of high notes, riffs, and rock-style vocals, the song is amazing and incredibly hard to sing. “My Strongest Suit” has some of the most impressive belting I’ve ever heard, simply because it is in a high range that is nearly impossible to truly belt. (Trust me on this – I’ve tried. And it hurts to try to sing like Sherie does on the soundtrack.) It’s upbeat, catchy, and makes one want to dance and sing at the same time. It also stands alone well, since it’s more character than plot based. I’ve always thought it would make a great pop song. Take a listen to Sherie Rene Scott, Broadway semi-star, belt the heck out of this musical masterpiece. And listen to the lyrics, because they still make me laugh, as the character Amneris is supposed to be such an unabashedly spoiled princess that it’s kind of lovable. “Forget the inner me, observe the outer – I am what I wear, and how I dress.”

Clip: My Strongest Suit – Sherie Rene Scott

14. “Life of the Party” from Andrew Lippa’s The Wild Party (2000) – okay, technically, The Wild Party was never a Broadway show. At least not this version. Two musicals by this title, based on the same poem, were staged within a few months of each other in New York, completely coincidentally. Andrew Lippa’s off-Broadway version was the less successful of the two, though neither ran more than a few weeks. Personally, I prefer the Lippa version, but I’m a general fan of his scores, so I may be considered biased. To give an idea of the style of the music, since I’m sure most of my readers aren’t familiar with this show, it has been often compared to Kander and Ebb’s Chicago, since they both cary the same sort of vaudeville theme, and the shows are set in the same era. The show is full of great solos for each main character, and I agonized over choosing between this and the character Queenie’s saucy “Raise the Roof,” but I picked this, simply because I prefer the smoother succession of the music. I love the slight raspiness and overall roughness to these vocals and it’s definitely a musical highlight. “Life of the Party” is the only solo by this character, but it says all that needs to be said about her. The whole show is rather raunchy, and actually, this song could be considered mild compared to all the others. It’s simply a statement of the character’s way of life – lots of parties, lots of alcohol, and no work, all play.

Clip: Life of the Party – Idina Menzel

15. “Defying Gravity” from Wicked (2003) – most people, and certainly all theater fans, have heard of the musical Wicked, and “Defying Gravity” is the signature showstopper number from that record-breaking hit. It’s been modified into pop songs, sung on the musical TV sensation Glee, and is the most modern of the showtunes that are considered iconic and unforgettable. I know there are plenty of theater lovers who hate Wicked, but I can’t fathom hearing the final note in this song, watching the witch “fly” above the stage, and not getting goosebumps of thrill. The best belting ever, the most empowering music, and the craziest vocal performances are all packed into this song. To “defy gravity” may be a cliche – just search iTunes, and you’ll find a dozen songs with the same title – and all that’s usually meant by it is to rebel, defy all that is supposedly set in stone. But it becomes not-so-cliche when Elphaba actually does defy gravity. (This is an awesome special effect and a testament to the production values of Wicked.) I love this song. That’s all I can possibly say, because there is no other way to articulate my feelings for it. Every single time I listen to “Defying Gravity” – especially the powerhouse vocals, with the incredible belted high F, that take place in the last minute of the song – I love it more and more. And while anyone who can successfully pull this off is a brilliant singer, there was no option but to use a clip of the sensational original Elphaba, Idina Menzel. And before you hit play, turn your speakers down, because this woman’s voice is intense enough to blow them up if you’re not careful.

Clip: Defying Gravity – Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth

16. “What is This Feeling?” from Wicked (2003) – this song must go on the list not because it illustrates a standard style used in theater songs, but rather, because it is the complete opposite of many of those standards. The title implies a song about a new found crush, and “love at first sight” songs, though usually unrealistic, are quite popular in musical theater. However, love at first sight is not quite the case with the main characters in Wicked. In actuality, the song is a hate at first sight song. Comically enough, I have actually heard this referred to as “the best lesbian love song in the history of theater,” because it really sounds like that’s what it will turn out to be if you just listen to the first verse of lyrics. “What is this feeling, so sudden and new? I felt the moment, I laid eyes on you….” Could it be lust? No, it is in fact, “loathing! unadulterated loathing!” I love this song just because of the pure comedy of these two girls who barely know each other pronouncing their hatred for each other, and the fact that they’re singing it. It twists what is the standard, which is what any fantastic song from a musical must do. And if I ever find myself thrown into a situation where I know the minute I meet someone that I hate them, I would rather sing to them than yell at them. Seems like a much nicer thing to do, don’t you think? So, here’s the clip, once again of the original witches of Wicked, Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth.

Clip: What is This Feeling? – Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth

17. “For Good” from Wicked (2003) – yes, another song from Wicked. I can’t help it – the show is so packed with different emotions and styles and heartstopping vocal performances that I feel I can’t represent it all with one or even two songs. “For Good” is possibly the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard, and I can’t even tell you how hard I cried the first time I saw this show. It’s what would be called the “eleven o’clock” number in the standard musical formula – the last song in the show, before the “finale” number, almost always soaring and powerful. (The name comes from the fact that the second to last song in a show was usually performed around 11 pm – there’s your random bit of theater trivia for the day.) Wicked is, in essence, a love story – but a different kind of love story. Totally platonic, which is why the kiddies love it. The whole show is about the relationship between Glinda and Elphaba (the Good and Wicked witches of Oz, respectively), and “For Good” is the sad conclusion and overall summary of the relationship. At this point in the show, Elphaba and Glinda know they will never see each other again, and they have this one moment – one song, as it works in musicals – to express everything that the other has meant to them, and say their final goodbyes. (Oh, there I go. I’m tearing up just writing this.) The song is led into by one last joke before the tears start, as the social outcast Elphaba tells Glinda, “You’re the only friend I’ve ever had.” To which little miss popular replies, “And I’ve had so many friends!” The tender moment is saved, as she continues, “But only one…that mattered.” And then they sing, and the whole audience reaches for the Kleenex.

Clip: For Good – Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth

18. “My Junk” from Spring Awakening (2006) – Spring Awakening is a show that is amazing beyond belief, and I suggest that you listen to the entire soundtrack, because it’s that good. (However, it is R-rated, so maybe wait until the kid you’re babysitting goes to bed.) But I chose this song, “My Junk,” for my list, because it’s a great ensemble piece. Although the show takes place in the late 19th century, the high school students at the center of it are portrayed as being more modern, as reflected in this song. All of the young girls are explaining their feelings for the boys they each like, referring to their hangups on said boys similarly to addiction, hence the title. I also love this song just because I like the cast, since Spring Awakening was cast with very talented but mostly smaller names, young adults who hadn’t made a name for themselves in the theater yet. (The recording below also includes Lea Michele, the original female lead of Spring Awakening, and beloved star of that one TV show that nobody can stop talking about.)

Clip: My Junk – Original Broadway Cast

19. “Listen to Your Heart” from Young Frankenstein (2007) – the original draft of this list included a song from The Producers, but I had to cut it because the list was getting WAY too long. But I did include another great Mel Brooks musical, the Broadway adaptation of the movie Young Frankenstein. “Listen to Your Heart” is meant to be a flirty love song, but as is usually the case in a Mel Brooks show, the lyrics are so far from what you’d expect, it makes for great comedy. As Dr. Frankenstein’s flirty lab assistant tries to persuade him to go on his emotions rather than rationality, she also tries to explain to him that for the best romance, it’s a good idea to give up on any thinking. To quote the lyrics, her exact suggestion to him is, “Let’s be stupid together!” It’s very romantic, really. In the clip, Sutton Foster is playing Inga the lab assistant. And Sutton Foster is, as a friend of mine might say, utterly fabulous.

Clip: Listen To Your Heart – Sutton Foster

20. “I Want the Good Times Back” from The Little Mermaid (2008) – consensus among all my theater geek friends is that this is probably the funniest villain song ever. Written by original Little Mermaid composer Alan Menken and newer Disney-employed lyricist Glenn Slater, it is probably the best of the songs added to the Broadway version. Ursula the Sea Witch didn’t have enough of a part in the movie in my opinion, considering that she’s the main antagonist in the plot. I also wasn’t a fan of the way the original voice actress portrayed the character, and find the revamp from cranky old hag to sarcastic comic villainness to be quite refreshing. Sherie Rene Scott managed to make Ursula all her own, and practically created a new role. Part of the new character is a quality of shamelessness – almost pride – at her utterly evil intentions. “I Want the Good Times Back” is also a perfect example of an “I want” song, a song that states a main character’s goal at the beginning of the show (usually the second or third song), and in this one, Ursula and her two eel henchmen long for the days when they wreaked havoc on all inhabitants of the ocean, and the lyrics are just hilarious. She sings of wanting back the feelings of causing destruction, crushing spirits, and being on top of the world – er, sea. And sure, “it’s sheer abuse of power,” but “ain’t that what power’s for?!”

Clip: I Want the Good Times Back – Sherie Rene Scott

I apologize to any theater geek whose favorites were left out. I’m a bit biased. That’s why this is in the opinion/editorial section. Comment with your favorite showtunes below if you’d like, because I’d love to hear from you!

Today is Hitler’s birthday, it’s also the anniversary of the Columbine travesty, it also is a day for high school kids to skip school and smoke marijuana. The latter has many origins, from the code number that police used to identify someone in possession of weed to the most popular time of day to get high. No matter where it started, Nova teachers and the students who showed up today noticed a severe lack of their peers. In one of my classes more than half of the twenty eight students were nowhere to be found. This does not mean all of them were out celebrating, but they couldn’t all have been sick or had a dentist appointment. Having never smoked pot, I cannot talk from that experience; I’ve never even seen anyone smoke it. I can, however express opinions that have not been influenced by such an experience.

To me it all comes down as a matter of priority, what does someone care about most and what is he or she willing to do to reach that something. Some people value their education over family, or friends over education and some people value getting high. It doesn’t really matter to where getting high comes into your priority list but it must be pretty close to the top if you are deciding to skip school in order to do it. This might seem severe to a lot of people, “it’s only for one day you might say, so it’s not that big of a deal.” To the people who would respond this way I would ask this: is it really for one day? It’s really hard for me to believe that someone who smokes pot on 4/20 doesn’t touch it for the other 364 days of the year. I think that if someone is willing to skip school to get high, they are probably smoking pot at other times, whether at parties or just hanging out with friends. Marijuana should not interfere with your education. Being educated, whether through schooling or experience is much more important to me than making weird observations and giggling a lot or whatever it is you do when you’re high.

There are plenty of rumors about our school. I’ve heard from other people that they think Nova is a place where we do nothing all day, where we just sit on couches and chill, where we don’t really have to show up if we don’t want to and where we get full credit by doing absolutely nothing. The most common rumor I have heard about our school though, is that we like to smoke pot. In class, outside of class, in the hallways, in the bathrooms and everywhere else, we are rolling joints and taking drags. I get very defensive when I hear people telling me or someone else the rumors they hear, and acting like it’s the truth. I try to tell them that this is not the case and explain to them what I think Nova is really about. However, when less than half of my peers show up to class, I start to question whether or not there might be a little truth to the rumors. Nova kids should know that when they decide to skip on 4/20 they are enforcing the biggest stereotype about our school. Although, the way they that they seem to set their priorities tells me that they don’t really care in the first place, so why even bother bringing it up? Because I think we can all do better. I would like you to know that I don’t care what you do outside of school, just don’t let it get in the way of your education, and if you don’t care about that, think about the dark stain you’re leaving on our community’s reputation.

Last month I went to go see a play my sister’s teacher from Orca put together, only the big performance was at Rainier Beach High School. It was zombie play called Z and plot line was basically about a bunch of people getting together to form a group. They’re the only surviving people who haven’t been zombified and they’re heading to Safeco field where they’ll be supposedly safe. So it’s about their journey to getting there, some don’t make it either. This is an original play by a teacher, Dante Felder, at Orca Middle School.

I think that the storyline of the play was quite ridiculous though very much enjoyable. It definitely balanced out some humor with the seriousness of it. The set was pretty simple, yet the set pieces that were there seemed to be done very well. The makeup was done unbelievably well, actually, the fake blood was believable enough for a school play as well. The extra body parts close to the audience on the stage was a nice addition too. They had a pretty good selection of music however I didn’t like the music that played when we were getting seated, it kind of made me feel anxious and uncomfortable, but the rest of the music throughout the play and at the end was great.

Then there was the dance numbers, one in the middle and the two at the end. The one in the middle was unexpected and I was surprised how well they knew what they were doing, no one got lost and it was in perfect harmony. The ones at the end were just a lot of fun, and they really looked like they were really into it and having a blast. Something else I was surprised by was the acting. Mainly because they’re middle schoolers, and they don’t always take things seriously. But as I watching them perform, there was actually a lot of talent there, they really gave it their all and were into it, looking like they were having a lot of fun. I could definitely see them acting in the near future. I thought it actually would’ve been a lot of fun to be part of this production of an original play, and if it were still out for the public to see I would highly recommend it to anyone who likes things about zombies or would just have wanted to see something fun.

The concept of curriculum alignment is simple. The district has created a specific curriculum for core classes that it wants all Seattle public high school teachers to adhere to and teach from. If put into action at Nova, it would severely limit the classes available and cut down many possible student-led classes. The variety of class choices and student-led classes are two facets of Nova that are big reasons most students are attracted to the school in the first place. But before I attempt to discredit the notion that could be the end of Nova as an alternative school, allow me to show you the districts’ reasoning for curriculum alignment, as posted on their website.

Our Commitment

Seattle Public Schools is committed to ensuring high expectations and high quality schools for every student.
As part of a system-wide effort to increase the number of Seattle Public School students who graduate from
high school prepared for college and the 21st century workforce, Seattle Public Schools has committed to
aligning curriculum in core academic subjects across all high schools. Our mission is to move from saying all
students will experience a highly rigorous academic experience, to providing, through our
aligned curriculum, that they do.

Providing every student with the same curriculum does not provide students with an equal learning opportunity. Different students learn in different ways, and the simple existence of alternative schools speaks to that. In a recent address made to the school board by a Nova student named Arianne Golding, she cited that in 2007 (the most recent available data) Nova students had the highest average SAT scores in both the writing and reading sections. This is an example of measurable academic success—a term often used by the district to describe what Nova needs to showcase to remain alternative.

What Curriculum Alignment is and is not?

An aligned curriculum is a coherent and consistent progression of content, instruction and
assessment within and across a course of study. In an aligned system, common rigorous
expectations for student learning in any one grade level are consistent across the district, grade level
expectations build on the prior year’s work and feed into the next year, and teachers
have the materials and training to teach the content to their students.

Curriculum alignment guides teachers in what to teach but not how to teach. Indeed, curriculum alignment
places a high value on teacher creativity and passion, and does encourage appropriate acceleration,
differentiation and curriculum integration.

Teachers are most creative and passionate when they are teaching what interests them most. I confess that I absorbed much more information about genetics as my biology teacher gushed over the subject last semester than I did when she skimmed over photosynthesis due to her general disinterest in the subject. Teachers reach students best when they themselves think what they are teaching is truly important and interesting. Our original courses allow all teachers to teach their passions, while an aligned curriculum would only provide the possibility of such a happenstance.

Why is Curriculum Alignment Necessary?

Presently, core academic high school courses with the same name do not adhere to the same content,
standards or expectations, even in the same school building. One could argue that students currently
are subjected to a lottery of sorts, in which the quality of their academic experience is, in part, attributed
to the chance of scheduling. As a result, some students have the experience of learning the same content
repeatedly in different courses that are designed to participate in a sequence.
And some students complete courses with gaps in their learning.

I personally, can attest to the problem of gaps in education being one I feel I have experienced here at Nova. But this is why the coordinator system is in place. Coordinators have seen how each core class prepares students, and recommends classes accordingly. At the beginning of this semester I felt that there was a gap in my mathematics credits, in that I had never taken a geometry class. My coordinator assured me though, that the majority of a geometry class would be review to me, and he assigned me to precalculus. I have thus far been able to understand all the concepts presented to me in precalculus, and I feel more challenged and better prepared as a result of my coordinator’s judgment. If you listen to your coordinator and trust in their recommendations, there should be no reason for gaps in your education at Nova.

Alignment Among and Across Courses

Each course in the SPS curriculum will be aligned horizontally with identified course outcomes so
that courses with the same name across SPS high schools reach established goals and expectations.
Content courses will be aligned vertically to ensure students possess the knowledge and skills to be
successful in the next course in the sequence. Not only will the high school curriculum be aligned to
the college-ready standards but also to the middle school curriculum that precedes the high school
educational experience. Future alignment work will include backwards mapping down to Pre-K
with the goal of a fully aligned Pre-K-12 school system.

If you also feel that curriculum alignment will be detrimental to Nova and wish to voice your concerns, I highly recommend you attempt to speak at a school board meeting. Board meetings are generally held twice monthly on the first and third Wednesdays of each month, at 6:00 p.m., with some exceptions. The meetings are located at the John Stanford center at 2445 3rd Avenue South in the SoDo business district. You can schedule a slot on the agenda to speak beginning at 8 AM the Monday before a meeting by calling (206) 252-0040. There are only 20 slots available so don’t be discouraged if you are denied on your first try.

We’ve all been there. You’re looking for affordable instruments, when all of a sudden you see a beautiful electric guitar/bass/stringed instrument. It’s on sale. But it’s still more expensive than you’ll ever be able to afford. You just want to beat it up, but don’t know how to go about doing it? Well, look no further, because this is the definitive guide to beating up electric guitars.

First off, don’t smash it on the ground. Not only will you have to pay for it, the guitar’s life dream is to be smashed on the ground, on stage, by a rock star. While you’re probably not on a stage, or a rock star, it still counts. You also can’t set it on fire, even if you aren’t Jimi Hendrix. Because being on fire is cool, and all guitars strive to be cool. Don’t kill or beat up the guitar in a cool fashion, because you’ll only be doing it a favor.

Physically abusing the guitar doesn’t work either. It doesn’t feel pain, don’t even bother. It will just laugh at you and your feeble attempts to make it feel worse about itself. Instead, physically abuse the strings. How do you do that, you may ask? First put your non-dominant hand on the neck of the guitar, and depress the strings. Next, strum with your other hand. Now move your neck hand randomly up and down the neck of the guitar, while strumming as fast as you can. The guitar hates it when it’s being used to make bad music, making this one of the most effective ways of beating up a guitar.

Even more effective, however, is playing a song poorly. This is more difficult, however, because you must know how to play a song before you can play it poorly. To play the song poorly, use the whammy bar at inapropriate times, and put your fingers in between frets occasionally. This works because guitars really hate bad cover bands, and being in one is even worse.

The only known method in which you do not play the guitar badly to beat it up, but you still play it, is to play Stairway to Heaven. Or Free Bird. Or Green Grass and High Tides. Or some other song with a really famous guitar solo. Why? Because it’s already seen this done a million times while it’s been sitting around in the store. The repetition is unbearable for the guitar.

Finally, the only known method to beat up a guitar without playing it is to hide the guitar. The guitar wants to be the center of attention, to be in the spotlight. Hiding the guitar robs them of this opportunity, and it will hate life until it is found again. To be extra ironic, hide the guitar in the bass section (if you’re beating up a bass, hide the bass in the percussion room).

And that, my friends, is how it’s done. Beating up a guitar will fill you with a new sense of pride, the feeling of knowing that you have just taught that guitar a lesson it will never forget: don’t be an expensive guitar. Your friends will be so jealous of your guitar beating-up skills. But be warned, if the word spreads too far, you may find yourself forbidden from going to any concerts involving string instruments, for fear of the instruments getting a good pummeling.

The Simpsons is an old family classic that has brought laughter to millions for what is now two decades, and yet they continue to make more. It’s the true gauntlet of animated shows. Alongside that, it’s very well known. There are probably rather few people that own television sets and get the local channels that haven’t seen head nor tail of The Simpsons. But in hindsight, has it become moreover quantity over quality? That’s what I ask here, towards others, and myself.

Personally, I find that the show has started to derail (d’oh!), and has declined significantly since the ‘07 release of The Simpsons Movie. I wouldn’t call the movie itself bad. As a matter of fact, I thought it was quite hilarious. However, from there, the only thing that didn’t appear to decline in the show was the graphical quality. That actually improved. But that does not go far for the overall quality of the show. If you’re looking at a tidbit of the newest episodes compared to some of the older ones, you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. With this, if you gave a completely uninformed person one choice between one of the newest episodes, and one of the, let’s say, ones from the tenth season or so, they would pick the newest one rather than the older one, correct? They would, no doubt about it.

It’s not surprising that The Simpsons is finally beginning to take its dive into something like today’s episodes, after having done over 450 of them. I’m sure many of the students around here have heard the “Rise and Fall Through History” theory. One can easily apply it to this. For those that are unfamiliar, say there’s a lucrative process that’s repeated often. There will be a point in which it will be harder to achieve the same output, and it will continue to get more and more difficult to achieve that desired output. For The Simpsons, it appears this has not only begun to happen, but the quality has been sliding significantly.

On a personal note, I’m not certain what they should do with it, just as long as it’s something that’s not this. I firmly believe that continuing like this will strangle the life and entertainment out of what many have loved and rejoiced for decades, similar to the way Homer has strangled Bart most of these years. Only, this is gradually killing the show. Generally unacceptable in my opinion.

Now, I ask the readers, what are your thoughts? Is the program on a path to its own demise? Is it on the right track to greatness? Think it’s gone on too long? What do you think should happen with it? Should it be taken out of its misery, or even continued on the track that it’s been on for a few years now? Regardless of whether or not you’re a fan of the show, what do you think of The Simpsons nowadays? Make your opinions noted here.

I’m not going to question why you’d want to bring harm to the ruler of the enemy. I mean, I thought he was governing his half of the checkered board in a pretty shabby manner, but beating up the King? It’s a step far beyond just winning fairly. It’s winning, but it’s downright dirty. Maybe you don’t like the color of his plastic, or glass, or whatever material the little figurehead’s made of. In whatever case, putting him in check isn’t enough, and you want him to feel the same checkerboard his comrades have been slaughtered on, so here’s how you go about doing it.

When it comes to the weapon(s) of choice here, it’s all about what looks frightening. It shouldn’t have to do any damage. You could use a toy laser gun, even. However, just in case this won’t work, you’ll want something you can dish out the pain with. I’ll explain why you need these later. Oh, and you will be required to shrink yourself, and your weapon.

When it comes to the shrinking process, it all boils down to what you’ve got in your arsenal. Personally, the shrink ray and washing machine are my two favorite options. I’m sure there are many others, but those are what I’m going with here. Successfully shrink yourself to about the size of a chess piece and it’s in the bag.

Now, chances are, if this is near the start of the battle, that the enemy has their King all coddled up within the crowd of many other military units. If this is the case, you’ll have to resort to this tactic. Disguise yourself as a rook (the little castle-type thingamajig), and place yourself near the front lines, in open range of an enemy pawn. On your turn, strike one of them. Instead of bringing them to the P.O.W. camp known as “the side of the board,” sneak off with the new pawn while the commanding officer of your disguise’s color isn’t looking, tie it to a chair, and get ready for the interrogation.

If this is mid-battle instead of near the start, you’ll need to disguise yourself as a pawn that made it far enough into the enemy territory to become the new queen. If you do this successfully, quickly and stealthily make your way up to one of the King’s escorts, known as the holy bishops, and capture one of them with the method from the previous paragraph. You are a third done with your mission if these steps have been completed successfully.

The next step lies in the interrogation. Hopefully you thought to make this happen in a place where you couldn’t be seen. If not, get to some area like that with your victim now. Okay, simply put, you’ve got to start with a prop-fueled threat, with the object that, when thought of as a weapon, would be quite intimidating. The toy ray gun I mentioned earlier would work great here, as pawns aren’t quite the fastest computers in the lab, if y’know what I’m sayin’. (What? I’m pretty sure they aren’t Macs.) Make the threat, and demand you know where the King is and how to get to him. If it refuses, inflict a small amount of pain to it. This is guaranteed to make the pawn talk.

Once you have the information, the rest lies in assaulting the enemy King. Move out on the field, and assassinate the bishops and rooks with the best of your abilities. Or knock them unconscious. That works, too. Once the King is the only target remaining, pounce him in a way that will render him unable to do anything but squirm from your grasp, on the cold, hard, checkered light or dark square. Start slapping him like crazy until he falls unconscious. A stun gun is optional for use here in case you don’t feel like slapping royalty silly. If you don’t manage to do this, chances are he’ll bust out some crazy close-range kung-fu moves that not even Queens have escaped from. After the King’s been knocked down, beat him up however you like, seeing as the enemy commanding officer will probably spot you, and accuse your ally commander of cheating, when, after all, he didn’t do anything. That’s just hilarious.

Now, the final step in the matter is to somehow grow back to your original size. There is a wide variety of ways you can do this. What are they, you ask? Well, that’s a secret. You’re on your own on that one. Well, maybe, just maybe, you could use a medieval stretching machine.

Well, if you managed to kick that King square in the bum, congratulate yourself. You used an extremely-complex method to topple that wicked tyrant, although, you could have just thrown something at him to knock him over. It’s really not that hard. But anyhow, you might just deserve a medal. Well…no. People will consider you a nutsy jerk when you go up to ‘em and brag about having beat up a Chess piece. Especially when you’re gloating to the person who owns the Chess set. Ah, glad I’m not stuck in that boat. Well, anyways, congratulations on your achievement, sir or ma’am. No board game figure will stand in your way ever again.

As the decade draws to a c lose, music magazines will create their Top 10 album, Top 10 song lists, etc. So I have decided to join them. Until January 1^st I will put up one album, counting down from 5, from the 2000’s. In no way is this a “best of”, this is simply albums that I love with all my heart and soul. No “best of” albums or reissues, only albums with new material will be included.

#5 Crystal Castles by Crystal Castles

Crystal Castle’s debut self titled album is one of the most emotional albums I have ever heard, which is something a lot of dance music bands can’t hold up to. The album was released in April 2008. The band combines Ethan Kath’s synth and 8-bit-based arrangement with Alice Glass’s voice to produce an amazing sound-scape full of wonder. The songs are short but each takes its time to leave an impact on you. This is an incredible album to listen to on your own; I recommend high quality head phones.

1. “Untrust Us” kicks off the album with solidarity imprint ing its pitch-shifted vocal melody straight to your brain. the vocals are sampled from Death From Above 1979’s “Dead Womb”. The song captures emotions I thought were impossible to express, the music implies so much to me without ever saying anything.

2. “Alice Pra ctice”-A very intense song, I always find my mood tuning to the melody. I get lost in the white noise only to be brought back by the vocals.

3. “Crimewave (Crystal Castles vs. Health)”-Using the b and Health’s lyrics, a vocoder, and more amazing music from Ethan Kath’s collection, Crystal Castles creates one of the catchiest songs I’ve ever heard. Due to the vocoder it’s hard to hear the lyrics, making the song even more ominous.

4. “Magic Spells”-Has no lyrics only what I believe to be a sample from Star Trek, very chill. Great for a rainy day riding the metro.

5. “Xxzxcuzx Me”-Wild, seemingly out of control, blows b y fast.

6. “Air War”-Great for head bobbing. The voices are incredible and set up a fantastic atmosphere. The song gives a lot of sharp turns. Soothingly unexpected.

7. “Courtship Dating”-A great song to listen to as you are falling asleep. Lots of background noise, the vocal melody is entrancing and the background screams only help the entrancement.

8. “Good Time”-An upbeat song that can easily put you in a good mood (hence the title), samples vocals from Drinking Electricity’s song “Good Times”.

9. “1991” -A fantastic instrumental, seems a lot longer than the one minute and fifty three seconds that it lasts for.

10. “Vanished”-An incredible dance song, samples Van She’s “Sex City”. Song is great from beginning to end.

11. “Knights”-Fantastic, the intro is sensational and the synth tone is beautiful.

12. “Love and Caring”-Another intense song, moves fast and goes to all the right places. Song only reaffirms how great Alice Glass’s voice is.

13. “Through The Hosiery”-The song commands attention with all that seems to be happening, including the vocals in the background and the synths flying all around.

14. “Reckless”-Probably one of my favorite songs ever, the melody is incredibly emotional in itself, absolutely outstanding, it feels perfect, and brings all the right emotions to mind.

15. “Black Panther”-Continues the vibe from reckless, absolutely fantastic and leaves me smiling.

16. “Tell Me What To Swallow”-Dark and absolutely amazing. Such a beautiful atmosphere, very different than all the other songs. Perfect conclusion, ends all the beauty anti-climatically.

One of my favorite albums, I am feverishly awaiting their next release. Please do yourself a favor and go out and buy the album.

Recently, there have been some complaints about the state of the student lounge in Melissa’s room. The student lounge is located at the end of the main hallway on the right, more or less across from the Art room. Melissa’s room doubles as the lounge, and Helen’s office is in there as well.

Apparently, as was mentioned in Day-to-Day committee on November 17^th by numerous people, a lot of undesirable and unpleasant activities have been taking place in our nice new lounge. People have been making out on couches, dirtying up the room with their trash, and piling up on said couches. Gamers have been spending hours and hours there, presumably not going to class and just plain goofing off. People are watching movies on their computers with speakers instead of headphones, driving Melissa and Helen insane. The room is noisy, to the point where you can’t really hear yourself speak.

What makes things worse is that people from colleges are coming into the room with Melissa, and quite frankly, it’s an embarrassment to our school. Everything is dirty, it’s very loud, and it’s not the scene we want colleges or any visitors for that matter, to judge our school on. It has gotten to the point where Helen says that she is going to go out and buy a new door so that she can hear herself think and so that she can work in her office.

A lot of the proposals brought up in the meeting had to do with setting up designated study times in the lounge. This would create times when you would have to be quiet and times when you can be loud. But the opposition to this is that the lounge wasn’t meant to be a study place in the first place, and that’s exactly why it’s called a lounge.

There is certainly a demand for the lounge to be a safe space to study. We share a building with the SBOC, and at any point in time you might be kicked off of the computers or the tables in the library because a class from that program needs to get their work done. Once that happens, what space do student have to study in? The lounge is one of the best places you could go to study, except for the fact that everyone is loud and obnoxious to the point that Melissa and Helen are going to drastic measures.

The problems we face in the lounge are a byproduct of the general disrespect that is running rampant in our school. Recently the hall by the cafetorium that houses Joleen’s and Sheri’s rooms had all the tables that were being used for studying removed because people were just too loud and messy, prohibiting others from working. So this isn’t just the Lounge we’re talking about, it’s the entire building.

The Lounge is one of the only reliable study spaces Nova has. We had another one for a while, but as you heard, that got taken away because it was just too loud. And I think the Lounge is in danger of ending the same way. In the past, Joleen’s hallway was used for studying, but we were reminded many times that if we were quiet, we could stay and chat as well. We ruined it. Let’s not ruin it this time.

For a counterpoint to this article, check out Con: Why the Lounge as a Study Space Doesn’t Make Sense

In the recent meetings of Day-to-Day committee, a new issue has come up about the state of our student lounge. Students have not been: cleaning up after themselves properly; using headphones on computers, mp3 players, and other noise making devices; restraining themselves from PDA, sitting with the appropriate amount of people on couches; and, respecting Melissa and other authority figures when they’ve been asked to stop these activities. These are all very serious offenses and clearly examples of unacceptable student behavior, but if everyone’s being honest, these are not activities Nova students have engaged in exclusively in the lounge.

I’ve witnessed trash and disgusting leftover meals pile up around my ankles; my classmates engage in graphic PDA; and makeshift dance parties form around a speaker regularly as long as I’ve been here. All we do by shooing these offenders out of the lounge is force the problem to find a new home. Already this year students monopolizing the limited space in our narrow halls has been more of an issue than ever before, and if the lounge is taken away and another public space isn’t provided, we will exacerbate this issue to a boiling point. The lounge undoubtedly can become a disaster zone with the current social norms that are in place, but by turning it into a study space, we only shift the negative effects of the problem to a different and clearly wider audience. The lounge is currently the place in our school where it is easiest to step in and see the culture of entitlement and disrespect that exists in our school today.

This is a fact that was acknowledged by the members of Day-to-Day, and an unofficial proposal was put forth to bring back Respect & Responsibility committee as a possible solution. I brought this notion back to Adam’s coor where  it received a warm response. Two elder members of Adam’s coor – Travis Hare and Tony Sueiro -  attended Nova before R & R committee was disbanded, and they both believe Nova could benefit from the return of some form of the committee.

“I feel like in the time after R & R, discipline at Nova has fallen solely to the teachers, and it’s become a much more formal and ineffective system,” commented Travis.

Tony added, “I’ve tried to call out students when they’ve been disrespectful [a practice that is is supposed to be socially acceptable in our community] and I’ve been laughed at for even trying it.”

The formal disconnect that has been created by teachers handling discipline is the backbone of this epidemic of disrespect at our school. If a committee is formed that stresses dialogue and solutions for students instead of straight up punishment, we create the opportunity to inspire more personal accountability amongst students. The main concern that was raised by Adam’s coor was what most governing committees end up turning into – the same five to six people deciding the fate of all the offenders at Nova. However, a brilliant solution to this problem was proposed.

In a system similar to jury duty, each nova student could be required to attend R & R on a rotating schedule. There would obviously need to be some permanent members of the committee, but to avoid bias, voting privileges would be restricted to non-permanent members. If we as a school can successfully return to a healthy environment where students are able to hold each other to a higher standard than what we’ve come to expect in the lounge, then we should all be able to use the lounge as a study space without making any policy changes. Taking drastic measures like banning students from the lounge and designating it as a study space are defeatist steps that don’t acknowledge the true root of the problem. The face of Nova has changed for the worse, and a new and reformed R & R committee may be the answer.

For a different take on this issue, read Pro: Why the Nova Lounge Should Also be a Study Space