Almost everyone around knows Popeye. I mean, he’s Popeye, the sailor man. He’s tough to the finish, ’cause he eats his spinach. This cartoon has entertained thousands upon potential millions for decades. Being an active classic cartoon viewer, I happened upon an episode of this show where Popeye’s children were watching their father, Olive Oyl, and Bluto acting within a desert-based movie set. Seeing this, and thinking back on other episodes, I realized that Popeye is not a good father. There are some reasons for this that are obvious, but there are a couple that take the right mentality to see properly. I will list them here in order from the most obvious, to the hardest reasons to spot.

First off, countless studies, and even science, have proven that smoking is not only unhealthy to the smoker, but the people around the smoker. Popeye’s a very heavy smoker, so it’s highly possible that his offspring could catch a few of the effects of secondhand smoke. Simple as that, it’s downright unhealthy.

Secondly, the sailor tattoos are another thing that must be looked at. I mean, it’s not harmful that Popeye has them, but his sons all have tattoos as well! It’s ridiculous. Why they have ‘em is completely beyond me.

Third, the violence that Popeye gets involved in all of the time. You’d think that violence would make Popeye’s kids idolize him all the more. Even if that were to be the case, having Popeye as a role model isn’t the best thing for their well-being. They may also experience trauma from watching their father beat up all who stand in his way. I mean, that would scare them into not making the oft-beloved sailor man angry.

Lastly, the way our villain-pummeling person uses spinach in order to beat up Bluto and all of the others that stand in his way may reflect on his children. In one of the numerous episodes, Olive Oyl even sees this coming in a dream, in which the children quaff some spinach and beat her up as means for revenge for their punishment. Because of this, the house’s spinach should truly be stored in the same place as a family would lock a gun for the purpose of self-defense. It’s quite scary when superpower-giving spinach is not used for the greater good.

And thus, those are the four reasons that Popeye doesn’t make the best father. It’s as simple as that, really. Some of these aren’t seen by the untrained eye. Well, maybe none of them are. Regardless, these are them. There’s a clear life lesson here, and I’ll end on that note; do as Popeye encourages, not as he does. (Seriously, that spinach is deadly in the right hands).